Quick Weight Loss Slimming Tips


Quick weight loss is achievable if you know how, and here are some slimming tips to help you lose weight as fast as you can. Many do not believe that fast weight loss is possible, but it can be if you follow the right advice. Sure, there is lots of it about, but is the advice you are given backed up by science?

Take one particularly fading weight loss technique. You cannot really refer to this as a diet, since it involves the help of a biological living entity rather than reducing your food intake or increasing your exercise. It is referred to as the tapeworm diet, but is not a diet whereby all you eat are tapeworms. On the contrary - the tapeworm eats you, or the contents of your gut.

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At this point, would everybody of a nervous disposition, weak stomach or easily offended please look away. This is genuine science and this method of weight loss is used in the USA even though the FDA has banned it (True -Mr. T.A.Peworm)

The theory is that by ingesting tapeworms, tapeworm segments or their eggs, the parasites will live in your intestine and gorge themselves on your food. Because the nutrients and fats do not get into your bloodstream and thence to the liver for metabolism, then you lose weight and the tapeworm gains weight. Does that not appear just a tiny bit self-defeating? What the tapeworm eats you don't digest, so you get thin but with a big, fat, heavy 60 foot tapeworm inside you?

Many believe that you actually lose most weight when the tapeworm leaves your body. I wonder how that works? How does that happen? I suppose you set a tapeworm trap - a bit like a mousetrap. First you go on a diet (remember that bit) so the tapeworm gets really, really, hungry. Then you get some tapeworm bait - maybe some feces (check it for tapeworms first), and set it just outside the exit and wait.

Once you feel an itch that you really must scratch no matter where you are (know the feeling?), you can do one of two things:

A. Make a quick grab and when you feel a slithery thing in your hands, you hope it is the tape worm and give it a good yank (yank, OK?) and hopefully pull it out.

B. OR: look in the mirror, and if you see a long thin thing squirming close to your anus, first check that it is not anything else, and then with a pair of tongs gently catch it and slowly ease it out. If you get tired after about 30 feet then have rest - but try to tie a knot in it so it can't slither back in.

Of the two, method A can be dangerous and it might break off - I'm talking tapeworm here! It is made from hundreds of segments and you can break off any one of these (if you do you can sell them as a diet aid!). Method B is likely the best, although you can also buy stuff at the chemist that kills it and you can then pass it in the regular way.

If you are an animal lover, and love fluffy bunnies and wriggly squirmy things, then try A or B first, although most people eventually resort to the pharmacist. So where were we with weight loss?

Ah, yes! The point here is that if you get rid of a 60 foot tapeworm, then you should lose weight, because it has been eating everything that you makes you fat, it gets fat itself, so when you remove it then... That explains the ethos behind the tapeworm diet - pay a creature to eat your food inside you, go on a diet so it cannot feed, then evict it when it is full and hungry!

I would not recommend this method as a quick weight loss diet however, because it is not a diet as such. Yes, you eat it, but not for nutrition - rather for the loss of nutrition. For an article on quick weight loss tips I would normally avoid this, but you got me started so blame yourself.

The quickest way to lose weight is to eat as little as possible and exercise as much as possible and that should do it. First, though, make sure your doctor or physician knows what you are doing and if it doesn't suit you he or she will advise something else. That might be to eat healthily (without worms), taking sufficient carbohydrates for your metabolism and small quantities of fat along with lots of highly colored fruits and vegetables. Then exercise enough to use up more calories than you eat, and you will lose weight.

That's the correct boring way - not nearly as much fun as keeping tapeworms and then trying to remove them. You could have a tapeworm party and invite your friends and neighbors to help you remove your tapeworms. A prize to the most ingenious system proved to work sort of thing... Or perhaps not! Quick weight loss slimming tips? Forget them - do it the proper way!

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